Bedding

This is another update on the entry we are doing in honor of Bridget for the Festival of Trees.

Yesterday I met again with the ladies who make up our decorating committee. We went over all the supplies we have and discussed what we have left to do. We have made a lot of progress so far, and yet still have so much more to work on. We will be meeting again in one week to finalize everything. Decorating day is November 30th!

I had been hearing all about the beautiful fabric that was donated by a generous fabric shop. I hadn't had a chance to see it until yesterday. It is so amazing! The quilt and tree skirt are still being finished up, but another neighbor got involved and used some of the fabric to make some beautiful pillows! Yet another neighbor made a complimenting receiving blanket! I already had a four piece bedding set that I'd bought for Bridget's first Christmas gift, along with the matching mobile, an extra sheet and a nice soft blanket that could go with it all. I had assembled the crib, and so after the ladies left, I decided to put the bedding inside.

Honestly, it was a little hard to do that. It was the first time I ever had a nice bedding set for any of my babies, and I was finally able to put it into a crib. It really is such a nice set, and a part of me grieved so deeply to see it and know that Bridget didn't get a chance to be wrapped in the pretty bed dressings. And yet, I was glad to see it out and to think that although we didn't get to use it in the way we had hoped, we are still going to be using this for Bridget. And it has been added onto in such a beautiful way! The crib skirt will have to be modified since the crib design is not a traditional design. I think it will also really come together with the hand made quilt that will compliment the tree skirt. This is just the beginning, and it already looks so beautiful.

Generosity

I am still just so grateful to Michelle and her generous financial donation for Bridget's tree. Her contribution was the first we received, and it was enough for me to feel I could overcome the intimidation I felt and move forward with the project. I had really wanted to do this for Bridget, but it was hard to think of doing it myself. She had proven to me that it wasn't going to be all left up to me.

And I didn't comprehend just how many generous donations would continue to come. I had thought about calling IKEA to ask for their help. They had been so kind, so genuinely concerned and wanting to help after Bridget had had her crisis event there. They had told me that if we ever thought of anything they could do to help our family to let them know. I never doubted their sincerity. But when I called to ask, it was a very difficult thing to do. The manager I'd spoken with two years ago was no longer there, and the person who I would need to speak to was out of the office. I left a message.

In the meantime, four ladies from my neighborhood came over to assess where we were and where we needed to go to make this tree a beautiful entry for Bridget. I felt very encouraged that it would turn out.

IKEA called back. I was just so grateful that the woman who was on the other end of the call was just as kind and sincere as the manager I'd spoken with two years before. She wanted to help. IKEA was going to be able to donate a crib!

When we were in the store with Bridget, we were looking for bedroom furniture. We were going to be buying a new bed for the kids, possibly a crib or toddler bed or a crib that would convert to a toddler bed. We were there to consider our options. I had already found a bedding set for Bridget that was going to be her First Christmas gift. The bed was going to be a part of our Christmas gift pile. We ended up in the mattress area of the store and that is where rescue efforts were done for Bridget.

The crib donation means we can display the bedding along with the tree, and I will finally be able to set up Bridget's bed the way it was supposed to be set up. She was never able to unwrap her gifts that first Christmas, but this is still a wonderful gift for Bridget.

What a delight it was when our neighbor went to pick up the crib, one that converts into a toddler bed, and came back with a crib mattress, a cabinet, and a changing table top that can be added to the cabinet! IKEA was more than generous! It was a tremendous gift that will greatly increase the appeal of this tree at auction, and will help our entry to truly be of benefit to the hospital that cared for both Bridget and Dominic until their deaths.

IKEA's donation is a tremendously generous one. And yet we continue to receive donations from the community. I contacted a toy company about a "my first doll" that we thought would be helpful to use in decorating the tree. It was unavailable in stores, and we needed several of them. The company replied that they would send all the rest they had in their stock room. I just received the shipment of five dolls at no cost! A local store is donating a beautiful $70 doll! A fabric store has donated the fabric for our tree skirt and a matching quilt! The generosity of all these businesses in such a time of economic hardship is inspiring to me.

There are still more items we need to purchase for this tree. As I mentioned, I had received a generous donation from a friend. And her donation has been greatly added upon. We were able to have a group of young women come to our home and watch a slideshow tribute of Bridget's short life. We talked briefly about her. It was a wonderful thing to be able to share her life. Then we talked about the tree we are working on in honor of Bridget. These girls went around the neighborhood a couple of nights later and collected many more donations. Other neighbors also contributed when they heard about this project. We have had some from our family also make financial contributions. We are just very grateful for the generosity of so many people to ensure that this tree really will be a wonderful way to remember Bridget, to honor her and the love that she brought to this earth in her brief life, and give back to our community and the hospital where she was cared for.

Thanks can never be enough. Gratitude of this magnitude can not be formed in words. To any and all who have generously contributed, even if you may think it was such a small amount or a small thing, know that your kindness is a literal blessing. Thank you!

Tree

The tree as we work on the "Rough Draft"

For those who are interested in the Tree we are working on, I am including the dedication we wrote for the registration, along with the brief description of the tree. The title of our entry is "First Christmas" although I'm checking to see if we can add "Miracles" to the end. I feel the way this is coming together is truly one of those Miracles I wrote about in the dedication! And in case you aren't familiar with the Festival of Trees, it is an event where trees are decorated and donated, then auctioned off to earn money for the Children's Hospital where both Dominic and Bridget were cared for until their deaths. The Young Women (youth in our Congregation) submitted a beautiful entry in honor of Dominic in 2002, and we also want to do something beautiful for Bridget to remember her and to help our community at the same time. You can go to the Festival of Trees website for more information.

Anyone who still wants to help just let me know what you want to do. We have a PayPal link to the right where you can donate with any major credit card, or using your own PayPal account. We still need to purchase things like floral wire, a tree topper, glitter spray, spray to make all the items non-flammable, about 6 small dolls to put on the tree, material for a tree skirt and matching quilt, some small silver heart ornaments, hardware for making the tree more stable, etc. We will be meeting in just a couple of weeks to put this all together, so we need to get all these things soon!

Thanks so much to all those who have already made generous contributions! We have already been able to acquire things like lights, ribbon, snowflake ornaments, etc. And we are so grateful to all those who are generously working to pull it together to make a beautiful entry in honor of Bridget. Thanks to everyone who has been offering to help! And also I am very grateful to IKEA for being so very generous to donate the crib! I feel all these kindnesses are truly miracles to make all the difference in the final presentation of our entry!

I used some of our Christmas letters from the past two years to help express the feelings we want to convey in our tribute to Bridget. Here is our dedication and description for our entry-

In Loving Memory of Bridget Lucille (18 July 2007 - 15 Sep 2007)

“Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see.” (CS Lewis)

"Mortality is but a stepping-stone to a more glorious existence in the future. The sorrow of death is softened with the promise of the Resurrection. There would be no Christmas if there were no Easter." (Hinckley)

Bridget's unexpected death at 2 months of age prevented us from sharing the Christmas season with her. She has an older brother who died exactly six years and one day before she did, when he was 5 months old. We didn't have the opportunity to share the Christmas season with him, either. Even with the grief we have, we try to carry on in the everyday tasks and joys of life.

It is a beacon of Hope to know that He whose birth we celebrate at this time of year is known to be ”a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief” (Isaiah 53:3), and yet He is still the Promise and source of Peace– “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you” (John 14:27) Often, it has been through kindnesses of others that we have felt His tender mercies. They may not always be the ones we ask for, but Miracles still exist. Through small and simple kindnesses we are all able to witness and grant miracles.

In the halls of the hospital, during a particularly challenging day, a quote taped up by the hospital’s Chaplain offered insight:

“What if the healing of the world utterly depends on the ten thousand invisible kindnesses we offer simply and quietly throughout the pilgrimage of each human life?” (Wayne Muller)

During the Christmas season, there seems to be an atmosphere that awakens something in us. Merrill J. Bateman wrote of it as “A Season for Angels”. In reflecting over the years, and the Miracles we have had of being sustained through some intensely difficult days, while also being able to feel incredible heights of joy, we see that it is through others that we have known miracles. Bateman’s reminder seems so fitting: “...miracles during this Christmas season require our faith and works. As we sing the hymns of Christmas and speak of angels sent to earth to witness the Savior’s birth in the meridian of time, may we rise to the occasion and minister to those in need in our day. ..may we, as angels of mercy, minister to other families and to those in need”

Our kindnesses, perhaps “small letters”, can add to the story– the True story, of the greatest miracle of all– the Resurrection of He who was born in a stable. Again, “There would be no Christmas if there had not been Easter. The babe Jesus of Bethlehem would be but another baby without the redeeming Christ of Gethsemane and Calvary, and the triumphant fact of the Resurrection. “ (Hinckley)

We hope that our Tree will radiate the love and the joy that we experienced with our sweet newborn daughter, Bridget. A love and joy that, surely, the infant Christ Child's mother Mary felt on that very First Christmas. We miss our little one dearly, but feel hopeful that because there was the First Christmas that we will be reunited.

As we’ve reflected on our memories throughout the years, we have concluded that our favorite memories are those which are to come– what lies beyond time, one eternal round. With an eternal vision, we can remember all that is to come as well as all that was in the past, even more clearly than we even know the present. Our mortal measure of time is a veil to what lies ahead, but the Spirit can pierce that veil and reveal the Truth of all things.

The greatest gifts of this season are not the kinds you buy in stores, but those that are stored up in the Glory of the days to come. The gifts we unwrap now will pale as we are wrapped in the significance of the birth of our Savior and His gifts of His life and redemption from death– as we are one day wrapped in immortal robes and reunited again with all our loved ones. This is our greatest Christmas "memory", our greatest Hope. That there will still be a time when we are able to celebrate with Bridget, the First Christmas.

This is the description on our registration to give you an idea of what we're doing:

4.5ft pre-lit tree decorated with pinks, white, and silver. We will be donating all of the new items we had purchased for Bridget before her unexpected death. There will be A LOT of layette items, a breast pump, crib bedding, A CRIB!, Boppy pillow, Boppy bouncy chair, etc. in addition to the tree. The tree name is in reference to "baby girl's first Christmas" but also to the First Christmas. We are working on a quilted tree skirt and a matching baby quilt as well. The tree will be decorated with "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments, ribbon, and other accenting ornaments and lights.

Thanks again to all who have been helping us with this First Christmas Miracle! I will post an update when we get everything put together. Expect some amazing pictures!

Remember

To remember them— Dominic and Bridget— both who died in September (six years and a day apart), we spend the anniversary of their death, their angel day, as a family. A family fractured by separation which death creates.

We created the tradition for Dominic. The day he died, we went to the Temple grounds without him and spent the rest of the evening walking around the place that represented a hope of reunion in the eternities. So each year we returned, until 2007 when we were in the same hospital he had died in, the same PICU, with his little sister just a day away from her own entry into paradise. Last year we tried to find a way to keep the tradition for Dominic, and make a new tradition for Bridget.

Serendipitously, it was a symbolic choice for each place we go on each angel day. A place where we didn't get to share with them while they were here with us on Earth, the wishing to have them here to share these experiences with them, and the hope to be able to have a chance again to share with them someday.

We never went to the Temple grounds with Dominic, although Bridget did go there with us:

02 September 2007

So this is where we go for his angel day.


We didn't get to share these Falls with Bridget, although Dominic did go there with us:

May 2001

So this is where we go for her angel day.

Both are places where it seems God has a presence. And someday, perhaps, we will share these places as a whole family.

Here are a few pictures from Dominic's Angel Day 2009:

This is the place we sat together to have our family picture taken (above) only six days before Bridget would have her crisis event:

On the drive home, the clouds were settled just above the horizon, on the foothills of the mountain. It seemed we could drive ourselves straight into the heavens. It was a somewhat tempting thought.

Here are a few pictures from Bridget's Angel Day 2009:

Pictures

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Two years ago today I didn't take any pictures. I had been taking at least one every day of our infant daughter, Bridget. Pictures like this, taken the night before that day, two years ago today:

That morning, we left with some friends who were here from Idaho and went to IKEA. I figured I'd take lots of pictures in the afternoon. It was a Saturday, and we had lots of time. But we didn't go back home that day. Instead our infant daughter, Bridget, was resuscitated inside IKEA, taken out of the store by the paramedics into the ambulance, and driven from the front of the store to the corner of the parking lot where she would be life flighted to the Children's Hospital. My husband and I were driven in a firetruck, while a firefighter drove our van, to the same hospital. We were in no condition to drive.

When we got there, we had to wait. And wait, and wait. She wasn't stabilizing. They were doing all kinds of things for her, and we were in the same room they put us in when Dominic had been flown there exactly six years before. You know it's bad when the social workers are called in on the weekend, and they put you in that room. I wish it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

Hours went by. Finally we were allowed to go and see her. I didn't have a camera with me. I asked for a camera. All they had was a polaroid camera, and they took three pictures for me. I hoped to show her one day what she went through, what she put us through. All the tangles she was in to keep her life supported while we waited for the miracle from God to keep her life sustained. Preserved. But instead, they are the only pictures from that day two years ago. And there were never to be more of her like she was before.

I love you, Bridget! Miss you terribly! And still feel so terrible for what you went through. I'm sorry.

Saturday, September 8, 2001

And it brought back everything from six years before that. Eight years ago today. We did take pictures that day. Mostly pictures my mom had taken with her digital camera,like this picture:

We had our camera that day, although we hadn't taken a lot of pictures of him. We were at Lagoon and were mostly taking pictures of the older kids on the rides. And then he stopped breathing. And they tried to resuscitate him and called the ambulance. The paramedics resuscitated him en route to the nearest hospital and then he was life flighted from there to the Children's Hospital. We were taken into that room. I knew enough to know it wasn't good when they put you in a room like that before they'd let you see your child. But we hoped for a miracle. Finally we were able to see him.

He was so sick. All the tangles he was in to keep his life supported while we waited for the miracle from God to keep his life sustained. Preserved.

I took pictures hoping to show him what he went through, what he put us through. But instead, we are here eight years later and he is not. And there were never to be more pictures of him like he was before, and no new pictures of what his life was to become.

I love you, Dominic! Miss you terribly. And still feel so terrible for what you went through. I am sorry.

Small

...simple acts of service can help us and those we are permitted to influence. Our Heavenly Father places loving individuals on important crossroads to help us so that we are not left alone to grope in the dark. ...Serving others need not come from spectacular events. Often it is the simple daily act that gives comfort, uplifts, encourages, sustains, and brings a smile to others. (Michael J. Teh, “Out of Small Things,” Ensign, Nov 2007, 35–37)

Bridget's birthday is on Saturday- she would have been turning two. I have a hard time with what was supposed to be a celebration of life being a reminder that she is not here. But I want to do something for her. She was just so small, and some may not think that she had much influence. How could something so small be important? Just after she died, a Conference address was given called "Out of Small Things," quoted above.

The words spoken then have been in my mind frequently since that time. I wonder how many of you would be willing to give her a gift. This week, find some small way to show service to someone IN your life. Do something WITH someone who needs you. Find someone in your day-to-day associations WITH each other. Please, no big fanfare! Think of Bridget, how very SMALL she was. Make your acts small, yet profound-just like she was! Then come back and let us know how you gave "Out of Small Things."

If you'd rather keep your service private, that is fine, too. Just DO something. And if you would, please remember Bridget when you do it. This is just meant as way to share how Bridget influenced you and give her a special kind of gift for her birthday. I really do understand if you might want to keep your acts private, so while I'd love to hear about your experience, the main thing is to just do some small thing-- which will have a much greater influence than you might ever know.

Hot

Well, summer started off cool and wet. Now it's getting hot. Good thing our city just opened a new fire station which will serve our neighborhood!





Today was the open house. There was cake and cool water to drink. Cool, like "this is neat" kind of cool. For some reason, the kids don't seem to think ice can come in a "circle shape." So I was commissioned to take this photo of the rare commodity.

Instead of a ribbon cutting ceremony, they had a hose cutting. We got there after they'd already done the job. Or did we? "I cannot tell a lie. I did not cut down the cherry tree!"

We were able to see a lot of heroes today. The fire department has responded to our calls for help in the past. We hope that no one ever needs them, but we know sometimes emergencies happen in life. So it is nice to know there will be a team a little closer to home in case the occasion ever arises again.

We even met one of those heroes who actually responded the last time we needed help. Chris from the life flight team was at today's event. She was one of the life flight doctors that took care of our little girl when she had her crisis event. The life flight helicopter was even there. It was bittersweet to see it. The kids were fascinated by the helicopter -- especially the windows that could open and close. And what do you know, there is even a little fire hydrant just outside that window!

So for all the things out there too hot for us to handle, our hats go off to the heroes we saw today!